The world of TV and movies is obsessed with the Apocalypse. It seems like the American appetite for disaster is pretty much insatiable. The one thing that few people saw coming was where we are now, which I would call the ‘boring apocalypse’. With millions not able to work and stuck at home everyone is sort of realizing how much their lives suck. Personally, if I wasn’t out riding every day on my X-1 or my carbon fiber pedal-powered mountain bike I would absolutely lose my mind. I’m not sure why the X-1 hasn’t gotten more attention from the mainstream, I feel like it’s the ebike I’ve been waiting the last 5 years for. This article isn’t about the X-1, it’s about the v3 Luna Apocalypse scooter that I bought on sale at Lunacycle and have been thrashing on the last couple of weeks. It seems like the high power electric scooter market is now saturated, where for years Luna seemed like the only place you could get a high powered escooter without buying directly from China. That is no longer the case. With Lime and Bird people have realized that although electric scooters are by far the dorkiest way to get around town (think Weird Al, White and Nerdy), they are also pretty practical. This article is about my weeks on the v3 Luna Scooter and why I think it’s a smart investment for anyone who owns an RV, a plane, or lives out of a boat (several of my friends do this because it is insanely cheap to do it).

The Apocalypse scooter ships Fed Ex freight (it’s about 75lbs) and it comes pretty much all put together, you just need to screw on the handlebars. The rear brake was super squishy so with some help from Luna’s tech team I was told to remove the rear brake from the mounting bracket and then pump the brake while I added more mineral oil. I didn’t think this would fix the problem, but it did. I think they just didn’t put in enough brake fluid in the system at the factory. Riding this scooter without both brakes functioning is all kinds of insane.

In order to get the scooter to ‘unlock’ you have to press the lightning button on the keyfob twice. In order to ride it in 2WD mode you need to press the headlight button. I recommend that you never ride this scooter in RWD only mode because the dual-motor mode is just way more fun. The scooter does not remember the 2WD setting when it is turned off so when you start it again you need to remember to put it in 2WD mode and check it by lifting up the front wheel and hitting the throttle to make sure it turns.

When taking off in 2WD mode on loose gravel both of the wheels will spin out, which can be mad fun, but also a little frightening. Although the scooter has some crazy knobby tires, I didn’t feel like it performs that well on gravel roads. Where there is uneven ground and big potholes, the scooter does OK (it has springs in the front and in the back) but it’s pretty scary at top speed. Where this scooter excels is on the pavement. This scooter is a real sleeper because it looks like a wimpy 250W scooter that you pay to rent but when you peg the throttle it accelerates frighteningly fast and can easily keep up with in-town traffic with a top speed of 35mph. When you run it downhill it goes quite a bit faster than that (there is no speed cutoff) and frankly it goes fast enough down steep hills that I get scared. Wearing a helmet when riding this scooter is pretty much mandatory.

Eric from Lunacycle has been somewhat obsessed with Electric scooters for almost a decade. He has sold hundreds of scooters over the years long before they got popular. It’s interesting to me that people seem to want to buy the dirt-cheap crappy <$500 escooters and also the ones that are over $3000 but there doesn’t seem to be too much demand for a 75lb scooter that goes 35mph and has a 30-mile range (at very high speeds). I think there should be. This scooter is available for $1790 here and mine shipped with a free N95 mask (which is pretty ratty and beat up after 6 months of use). The free mask is what inspired me to pull the trigger on this beast back in March.

I think this scooter would make a lot of sense for anyone who was living out of a van or RV because this scooter collapses down to a very small volume, probably 1/2 of the volume of a small foldable electric bike. It’s also about 1000 times more fun to ride. For anyone who has a small plane that they take from small airport to airport this scooter is the perfect thing to bring with you. You wouldn’t have to arrange a ride for pickup at the airport and would be able to go 30 miles from the airport without stopping at 30 mph. Even the tiniest airplanes could squeeze in one of these scooters. If you were traveling around the world in a boat or just living out of a boat because it’s way cheaper than an apartment this scooter would be an amazing way to get around and take up almost no space. If you wanted to take things with you then you could just wear a big backpack and throw groceries or whatever in that.

After pining away for a Luna scooter for years I finally sprung for one, my wife thinks I am nuts, but it’s so much fun to ride that I feel like it’s worth every penny. I find myself looking for excuses to ride it. Have to drop off the car at the shop 8 miles away, screw it I’ll take the scooter. Then I’ll take the long way home because I enjoy riding the thing around so much. I sold my v1 Onewheel because I just didn’t feel safe in city traffic riding that thing around. That is just not the case with the Apocalypse scooter. I feel totally safe in city traffic and if someone tried to hit me with their car I feel like it would be super easy to just jump off the scooter and hope for the best.

I’ve regretted a lot of things in my life, but one thing I will never regret is buying this scooter.

Ride on. (Writing this while Quarantined)

As a side note, the first person I knew that contracted Covid was my 21 year old son (what are the odds, right?). He did everything right and was extremely particular about wearing a mask. If you think that Covid is a hoax or you don’t want to wear a mask because you feel it is a brutal oppression of your rights, all I have to say “Man up, bitches”. Your ancestors were called to fight in wars and all you have to do is wear a stupid mask in public. Masks are not for protecting you, they are for protecting other people from you. Choosing not to wear a mask in public when you can’t social distance is the same as driving drunk or texting while driving. You can certainly do it, but doing it doesn’t make you right and it certainly doesn’t make you a decent human being.